Silence

         Feeling the silence in today’s culture seems to be such a challenge because there is noise everywhere.  Feeling the silence in a relationship is also a challenge, and a skill that needs developing.  But the more we work at this craft, the better we will be at listening to the honesty of our relationships.

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I got a call recently from Jeff (“Houseboat Jeff” from Bass Builder or player ?) or . Now, as I mentioned before, Jeff was coming off the boat, returning to the mainland, and getting married.  Well, about five months ago, I attended his wedding.  As I stepped into a large ballroom where Croatian music vibrated off glass chandeliers, I weaved my way through the tables and across the land of Serbia (or, should I say, “The dance floor”) to the one table designated to Jeff’s family and friends. When I reached the little “Jeff zone,” I was bear-hugged by Scoop.  Scoop is the big-hearted, third link of my friendship to Jeff.  Scoop, Jeff, and I all went back to the wild days when we all worked in the bar together.  Suddenly, Jeff grabbed us both with a huge smile and lots of love like always. Then we briefly met his wife of two hours, and Scoop and I headed back to the “Jeff zone.”  Within all of the noise that filled the room, Scoop and I and others in the “Jeff zone” could feel the silence.  Ironically, both Jeff and Scoop had long-term musical backgrounds and ears I have always respected.  But Scoop was the only one of the two who could hear truth between the notes.  This was the silence that told us the truth and forced us to ask the honest question, “What is Jeff getting himself into?”

         

So often in relationships, those involved are so close to the noise they cannot feel or hear the silence. Now, five months later, I got a call from Jeff, and I no longer have to feel the silence because the new tune played the truth.  Jeff told me about his divorce, being laid off, not being able to see his new-born daughter, and all the drama that is surrounding his situation.

          Boom! Jeff’s experience hit close to home as I flashed back a few years.  I was so close to the music that I could not hear the silence in my own relationship.  But this was my choice.  Honesty always starts with yourself.  The less we choose to not feel to the silence, the more it will become just a matter of time.