Life is
full of main courses and plenty of side orders.
We have
to be in the right place, most of all spiritually,
to choose
if we want to eat them or not.
…
Jeff
played bass guitar so well that he was never without a band. When he was not
playing bass, he would DJ at this bar where I worked as a waiter and doorman on
late nights. Jeff loved the energy of music and loved to take music in and put
it out for others to experience. But there was a side order that came with the
main course of music. He made the choice to “eat” alcohol. Who did he eat this
side order and main course with? Those who enjoyed the music he played, those
who liked to drink, and those who just liked him. I was two of these three but mostly because I
liked him as person. He had a big heart
and honest love for not only music but, more importantly, people.
Where
did Jeff have his meals of music and alcohol?
He had them in the bar, the club, the studio, his apartment, the car, or
on the road touring. These places became the kitchens and dining rooms for this
food that was to be cooked up and eaten.
Music and alcohol are extremely powerful; each has the power to control
one’s energy and actions.
Which
one do you think won Jeff over? In this
case, the alcohol took control of Jeff’s energy on two levels, his mind and
body. As a result, it affected his outer
actions and interactions with the energy that surrounded him. Eventually, Jeff began to over eat not only
the first side order of alcohol but topped it with drugs. And soon, he had very
little to stand on. The little ounces left for him were his spirit and the big
heart that I mentioned before. Well, this big heart saved Jeff’s life. This big heart reminded Jeff that his outer
actions were no way to treat himself or anyone surrounding him. Jeff soon
became aware of the decision that if he wanted to survive and grow, he needed
to make some changes to his outer environment.
So he started to eat at different tables and joined a 12-step
program. Jeff was now aware that he
needed to get away from the heat of the old kitchen. He struggled to stay cool
and clean, but in time, the negative forces retracted and positives surfaced.
What
surfaced? A friend of a friend was trying to sell an old house boat in need of
some work and repair. So, Jeff accumulated what money he could and made an
offer. Soon, Jeff was the captain of his own ship. During this time, Jeff attended meetings that
were a part of his program and worked on his vessel. He occasionally tasted the food of
music. He worked odd jobs enough to pay
for his docking fees. Every few months,
I would get a call from Jeff, and he mentioned how many days he had been clean.
But usually, our conversation consisted of the challenges he faced in trying to
keep his boat afloat. I would hear
details of what broke, what leaked, what he fixed, and what he needed and
wanted to fix. A few times, I remember him calling and telling me the ship was
sinking or it had sunk, and he had to be pulled out and taken to another
dock. I would listen to Jeff and his
struggles with the boat and think, “It was not the boat he was trying to keep
afloat; it was himself.”
Time
passed, and I did not hear from Jeff, so I became a little concerned. I lost his number, so I was considering
paying him a visit when the phone rang.
It was Jeff, and he said, “Mark it on your calendar. I’m having a Fourth
of July party on the boat, and I would love for you to make it.” “That’s
fantastic,” I said. “But, last I heard, the boat was sinking. What
happened?” He said, “I realized I was
spending all my time and energy taking care of cosmetic things. I was patching
this and fixing that, and what I really need to do was rebuild the hull. I
redid the base on the boat and did it solid as a rock. This thing won’t be
going down again. It’s solid.” I said,
“That’s great. I can't wait to see it. See you on the Fourth.” After I hung up the phone, I knew Jeff again
was talking about more than his boat.
At
the crack of dawn on the Fourth, I grabbed my paint box and some canvas, and my
buddy Peter and I jumped in my old, beat up convertible VW bug and hit the
road.
As
I stepped aboard the boat, it felt solid just as Jeff said. Then I looked at
Jeff, and he was just as solid as his boat.
That was all the energy I needed, so I got lost in the nearby town and
painted. When I finished painting, I
headed back to the boat. As I approached
the port, I heard the sound of an amplified electric bass, a sound I had not
heard in almost two years. I could not get the smile off my face, and when I
looked at Jeff, he could not get the smile off his either. I then gave him one of the two paintings I
just completed, and Jeff’s smile stretched even bigger. A few hours passed, and a few more musicians
joined Jeff to play. After some fine tuning, they entertained the entire port,
and I continued to feed from this energy and climbed to the roof to continue to
paint. I remember looking around while the paint on my canvas was drying, and
there were people everywhere on the deck. People were on the roof, in and
outside and the boat, and the boat was supporting them with no problem. It was
solid.
The
next Saturday, I was on the streets of SoHo showing and hopefully selling some
of my paintings. I normally do not show
any work that is really new because over the years I have gotten in the habit
of keeping new work close to me for awhile until I feel I am ready to let them
go. But I had bills to pay, and it just
so happened I had one of the paintings that I did at Jeff’s. I felt very
strongly about this work, but I unrolled the loose, raw painted canvas and
taped it to the glass of a store under construction. I have seen all kinds of reactions to my
work. Some have resulted in sales, while others just have various types of
energy shown. But this I had never seen. Within a few hours, most people that
walked by commented on that painting. And out of everything I was showing, that
painting sold before any. The next morning in SoHo, I was deciding what to
show, but this time with a wad of cash in my pocket that would cover most of my
bills. So I didn't have to let go of
something I was not ready to say goodbye to.
Although, I was very anxious to see the reactions I would get for the
other painting from Jeff’s party. I fixated the painting in a position to show,
and to my surprise, the painting sold within a few hours. Now, I have gone
weeks, even years before some paintings sell, but to see these two go in a
matter of hours surprised me. That
night, I called Jeff and shared my surprise, and he told me how much my
attendance at his party meant to him. I
responded by saying, “It was exactly where I wanted to be.”
…
Our
choices as to where we want to “eat” (the energy we receive) are crucial in
terms of how we grow. Someone once asked
me what the key to painting abstract expressionism was. My answer is the same for any form of
expression, which is about getting to the right place. This is true not only when you are actually
“exercising” but, more importantly, when you are “eating.” Just look at the energy I was eating on the
Fourth of July. As a result, I “exercised” not only on canvas but in my spirit
when I showed my paintings on the street.
This is something that always resonated true for me on the street. If I
did not feel good about my work, I could not expect anyone else to.
…
I
just got a call from Jeff yesterday. He told me he is getting married and will
soon be a father. He also said it is
time for him to come off the boat and live on the mainland. From the tone in his voice, I could tell the
waters might be a little rough.
Although, I knew he was going to be fine. Why? His base is solid.
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